Lavenderhouse

Begin

Today's post was tricky.   Believe me there is a lot I would like to talk about but can't.  So whilst doing the usual post school drop off tidy up a few things caught my eye:-

1 #    

 

A book for filling with inspirational new plans - bought ages ago and put on hold for many reasons.  Do yourself a favour ladies rank yourself higher up your list of priorities.  I reckon we should put ourselves No 1 at least one day of the week!

2 #

 

Three little pictures the children did in the summer and we put in a jar for discovering again at a later date.  I love hidden little treasures around the house.

3 #

 

A shell collected on a blissful hot day and threaded with beads on the beach so we could hang it up and remember that happy day.

4 #

 

Key to the fabric cupboard, which the girls and I are going to be raiding and doing a little bit of tiny mouse production on Saturday.  Added bonus turquoise, pink, velvet and polka dot ribbons.  Yes, simple things like that do make me happy.

5 #

 

Numerous notes I have been sent from wonderful friends, who say such lovely things and it is great to be able to read them again when you need to. 

So I am off today to BEGIN .......

From now on ...

I cannot write exactly what is happening in my life but I want to get back to blogging as people have sent me some really lovely emails of encouragement.  I am always truthful about my life and therefore have had to stop writing unless this blog were take on a whole new life of its own.  Anyway, life has thrown at me recently some really nasty stuff to cope with. 

Today, however, I realised mid morning that for the first time in a long time I had actually woken up feeling happy, really happy.  Not just the sort of happiness that you get from looking at your children's little fingers and toes, not the sort of happiness you get from kissing the top of their head and smelling shiny clean hair or the sort of happiness you get from pottering in the woods with them and their friends.  I realised I - yes ME - felt happy on my own, in my own right.

 

So here I am blogging again - properly - documenting life because I really do want to start remembering it all from now on.  

Into the ether

Recently I have had to remind myself that certain things make me very happy, simple little things like the colour pink and turquoise, flowers etc.

 

Indulgences such as Clarins fantastic relaxing balm  infused with aromatherapy oils have literally kept me sane during the most difficult part of my life.  It is all far from sorted  but I want to put out there in to the ether that I AM A POSITIVE HAPPY JOYFUL WOMAN WHOSE LIFE IS ONLY GOING TO GET BETTER AND BETTER.  

 

Well call me demanding but ....

Life is like a jigsaw, sometimes it’s all over the floor
When the pieces fit together, you feel a thing you’ve never felt before

by One Night Only - It's alright

In the far left corner of this picture (as you look at it) there is a couple walking through the lavender together.  She was wearing the most beautiful thin angora lavender tank top and he was wearing a gorgeous soft brown jumper.   They were there just together and were taking photographs of each other, smiling and talking in the lavender.  It was so romantic. 

Helen wrote in my comments:-

How lovely those pictures are, so romantic, wandering through lavender fields, trailing fingers through the lavender like trailing them through cool, blue water. Aahh ...

Helen's blog is called 'A life worth living'.  The title of her blog says it all as far as I am concerned. 

As much as I absolutely love my children 100% I still want to do things like that too.  I want to sit in a quiet meadow, listening to the grass rustle whilst picnicing with my husband.  I want to sit on the beach with the sun warming my bones and the sea lapping on the shore whilst we read novels or snooze. 

Any other ideas ladies?

Well, call me demanding but I need some of those memories for when I am an old lady. 

Things to make you smile!

Do you have funny bizarre days?  You know things that make you giggle.  Last Friday the first thing I had to do at school was make green tissue paper bogeys to stick up the nose of a really large wicker and tissue paper head that had been made for the Children's Parade - where is that in the Guide Book of being a Mum! 

Today I was doing the shopping and I heard this loud noise and shriek from the other side of the shopping aisle.  Suddenly there was a landslide of frozen chickens and this poor lady was standing knee high in frozen birds.  I had to wedge the freezer door shut until a member of staff could come and help.  Both of us were giggling away. 

When I got home I went down on the beach to photograph this sunflower and write 'Happy Dad's Dad' in the sand for a Father's Day card.  I had a quick look around for a stick and found this one - it made me laugh - it had a bic pen lid on the end!  It was perfect for writing in the sand!

Don't you just love the gorgeous sparkling sea and the vivid yellow of the sunflower together.  Hope you manage to catch a few rays today and a sniff of fresh air.

 

Spencer is settling in well and making himself at home .....

Very bad manners indeed!

I realise I have been very bad.  My manners are a disgrace.  Let me explain!  The last thing I did before I went away to Cornwall for a few days was finalise the paper work for our Open House.  I blogged about it and then obviously have not blogged for a week, which makes it look like I was blowing a very big trumpet on my behalf!  I can only apologise - I didn't mean to. 

Pasha took this photo on our favourite beach, Gunwalloe Cove.  It was on Sunday when the weather was like a summer's day - only actually, it wasn't as it was sunny and very warm.  We spent hours on the beach making sandcastles, digging holes and trenches and sewing.

Oh yes, I have a DREAM!  Wearing my favourite Joules lighthouse skirt and stitching an affirmation bracelet from a sample of deckchair stripes fabric.  I have stitched a clock face on this bracelet now. I intend to buy some of this material and make some THINGS.  The possibilities are endless - a blind, cushion covers for the kitchen, more bracelets, watches etc.   Combined with their bobble trim - could somebody pass me a paper bag I am about to start hyperventilating! 

A trip to Cornwall would not be complete without lunch or dinner here at the Porthminster Cafe Restaurant.  I love it.  A stunning sea view, fresh white walls, bright art and wonderful food. 

Happy Easter everyone!

Good conversation

A friend of mine, who reads this blog, recently asked me if I was OK.  As you are aware, I am extremely verbal, even more so in real life.  I really do not know when to shut up.  I did a post recently that was photographs and sparse words.  I think it worried her!  Anyway, it is difficult to believe that anyone out there at all wants to take any notice of anything I say.

So, unbelievably, I went a bit quiet.  I love blogging and all the joys that it brings.  The downside is the time involved.  In the future, I am sure we will laugh about how long a photo took to upload!  However, at the moment I am losing the will to live over it!

Anway, my head is in a muddle - no change there!  I have so much to do and still cannot see the way forward.  This morning I went for a revitalising walk on the beach.  To prove I never shut up there was a lot of internal conversation going on in my mind.   Thankfully, I do not talk out loud!  I set out mulling over all sorts of things and by the time I was on my way back I was whistling a cheery tune. 

I must tell you and for purposes of my diary, that last week was a great celebration of the birthday of one my dearest friends.  She has not been 100% and the turn around from last year to this year was a real reason to celebrate.  So Saturday was party night.  I wore flowers in my hair, silky red and a beautiful necklace that she gave me this week when we had lunch on her birthday.  How nice - it was her birthday and I got a present!  Plus she gave me a very lovely Easter present for the children - to be blogged nearer Easter!  Everyone around the dinner table had helped her in some way and do you know what the best thing was seeing her standing there toasting everyone.  There was a real feeling of love.  No-one was there with a hidden agenda, the only thing they wanted to do was show their love and affection for this truly unique and sparkly person.

Anway, back to that conversation of life matter  ......  I love the chatter of my children.  Where would I be without long discussions about if there are aliens then God must have made them, which then leads on to discussions about all powerful beings such as Jesus, God and Father Christmas!  :: Jasper changing his name from Jasper to Harry Potter :: not listening to Grandma as she is an OLD lady (very naughty to say that, but I did snigger - sorry!) :: their mispronouncations of words - mote control rather than remote control, acepp rather than accept, blankelit instead of blanket.

& tiny things they notice - Jasper noticing heart shaped crunch nut cornflakes!

There a wordy and heartfelt post.  I still feel like I typed a load of b-ll--ks though!  May be that sums it up! 

200th Post - random love and random me

Ahhh, how sweet - two swans who swim past my house twice a year - yes, they are in the sea!  They swim past once at the beginning of Winter and back again in Spring.  So, I can officially confirm Spring is really here!  Considered photoshoping the colour of the sea to make it turquoise just to cheer you all up even more but haven't got the talent or the time! Ha ha!

Apparently, this is me and Andrew as drawn by Skyla.

Anyway, ramble, ramble.  I have a lot on mind at the moment - you know - some good, some bad!  But today is my 200th Post - Yeah!!!!!!!! 

It feels very indulgent but I was tagged recently by Greedy Nan to reveal 6 random things about myself.  So I thought today I would.

I prefer to wear skirts and dresses.  I don't do scruffy or casual - it freaks me out a little.  I will happily wear nice clothes to mosaic, garden etc HOWEVER lots of my things come from Charity shops or were brand new but are now very old - I mean Vintage - no I don't - I just mean old!  Some things are bought in the Sales - like my lovely lighthouse skirt from Joules - although I can only wear things from their summer range, the winter range does not suit me at all.   I also love altering clothes - nothing like a bit of deconstruction.

I wear corsages, scarves and jewellery everyday - without fail.  It would be like going outside without your pants on to me!

I love wrapping paper and have a little stash, just in case - well, you never know!

I adore velvet.  If you wear a little bit of velvet then it sort of ramps your whole outfit up to another level. 
This is a picture of my most favourite coat.  It is a purple velvet jacket from M&S.  It is about 12 years old and I wear it all the time.  I am in need of another one so if anyone sees any companies selling velvet anything then let me know!  On the chair is my lovely Liberty scarf, which is also about 12 years old.  One side is velvet, the other silk with a few holes - not very french i.e well maintained!

I also love thoughtful presents.  In the photograph above there is a large bunch of old keys.  A present from my friend, Sarah.  I really wanted some old keys, so to receive a big bunch like this was fantastic.  Sarah also gave me this lovely turquoise mermaid bag - close up of fabric.  So a heart felt thanks to you!!!!!

The photograph below shows our latest family present - two little finger puppets from Marilyn for the kittens!!!!!  Thank you very much Marilyn!

For the following item some readers may wish to put on sunglasses!  Ha, ha ....

Please do not adjust your set (it really is that bright - yipppeeeee!)

 My last random fact is that fuschia pink, bright pink, whatever you like to call it makes my heart sing.  I LOVE IT. Touches of it against brilliant white look so cheery.  Glossy bright splashes of it make me skip and dance (literally).  It is a colour that when you see something you have to buy it as it doesn't come up very often so forgive me my two recent indulgences - some bright pink dinner plates from Designers Guild in their sale.  Most of my other china is from the Dalmation Army Shop as Jasper calls it - he means Salvation Army shop!

Last but not least, my lovely, lovely new handbag from M&S which I adore.  (£25)  I couldn't resist adding a bit of polka dot ribbon (another love) and also some velvet ribbon - oh sorry - just drifted off to velvet ribbon heaven again!!!!   Have a wonderful day - I think I need a lie down after all that indulgence!

Better than normal service has resumed!

I always say too much and don't care who I tell what to in person, so when it came to my last post it was easy in one way i.e the words all came tumbling out, but I wasn't sure if I should have told you all how I felt.  I am sure some of you have quickly deleted me from your mental list of blogs that you visit, thinking I am a nutter, however, there are some of you who obviously relate to what I say and have been sooooooo KIND and LOVELY.  I am so lucky to have readers like you, because over the months you have helped me come to some great conclusions in my life.   I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart and with flowers - will this do?

I realise I have to be like elastic.  Sometimes, I have to shrink back when life takes over a bit.  At other times I will be stretched beyond belief.  But, right now, I have to SNAP back to normal.  Then I will begin the stretchy bit of the journey, which is probably the most exciting - yeah!!!!!  There may be a few clouds but I am going to make sure they have silver linings.

Photograph of amazing sunset on Saturday.

I am happy now.  I am very glad you are here with me.

So on that note, I have to get back to real life, like getting small inquisitive kittens out of very large glass vases with small necks!  Ferris hopped out of here very quickly so don't worry no animals were hurt in the production of this post! Ha Ha!!!

If you have time please click on this link and listen to my friend, Hattie, singing.  She has the most exquisite voice.  I love her.  She is performing in a little concert on Saturday, 24 January at 7 pm in London @ Special Yoga Centre, Wrentham Avenue, off Kensal Rise.  Kids are welcome and there will be vegetarian food available.  Tickets are available from - Tel 0208 968 1900.  It is in support of Jo Manuel's work with Special Needs Kids.

Just exactly what should I be doing right now?

Errr, excuse me..... please Miss, just exactly what should I be doing right now?

WARNING - this post is extremely honest!  I apologise in advance but I needed to write this. 

Taking a little ponder wander around my  little work room I came  across a few things that sum up my life at the moment - I have more time on my hands than ever, I am fascinated by even more ... and yet find I am sooooooooooooooo UNfocused and spend time thinking about all those things that fascinate me and doing NOTHING about it.  This jar is photographed exactly as I found it - one embroidered clock face and another embroidery  with just one word 'fascination'.  All the other items are little unfinished projects. 

Underlying all my waffly head is that fact that I really miss my children.  As you know (I have written this several times before) Jasper started school properly in September, my last one of three to be at home.  That was the end of my stay at home Mum life with small children running around, driving me crazy and making me laugh.   The silence at home is unbearable.  There is no-one there shouting for refreshments, demanding boxes being lifted down from the play cupboards or moaning at me about having to go out even though we are going somewhere for them NOT me!  You see, during the day there is no-one there mumbling 'I love you Mummy to infinity', there is no-one there hanging off my neck and hugging me so hard it is a strangle ....

So I hope soon I will be able to see clearly ....

I really admire all you Mums that deal with this change of life so easily, or at least appear to.!?!?!?!  I have been at home for 9 years with somebody asking me something every 30 seconds.  I am shocked by the silence and the void left. 

I know going out to work would be a good answer to plenty of my needs but my husband's job definitely comes first (he earns far more then I ever could) and I do not want my children being passed around paid childcare because I am not there.  Not only that, but once you venture down the line of three children needing childcare in holidays etc then the cost is prohibitive and outweighs what I could ever earn in a day! 

I KNOW there are plenty of things that I can do, but do you know what, I have needed time to unspiral my mind from all that constant conversation of 9 years!  It has left me feeling tired, worn out and unfocused.  However, I really feel and HOPE that I am coming out the other end of it.  I promise to be more CHEERY next time - I feel more hopeful having written this down.  So thank you all (yet again)!!!!!