These are random thoughts from me today, relaxed and rambling because it is very peaceful here ....
When I think about my life I really never thought it would end up like this ..... but then if I think again I don't really know what I thought it would be like either!
My new life has opened up new avenues that I really need to walk down, paths I wouldn't have taken if my life had stayed on the track I thought it was on.
This photograph highlights perfectly my thoughts today - sparkly shoes that we can step in to, to take us somewhere wonderous, somewhere I don't know what my future looks like, somewhere where there is new exciting things to be done and experienced.
This weekend I am alone but I now have a brilliant social life which was wildly lacking when I was married - I have snoozed, slept properly (no children's elbows up your nose at 4 am in the morning), enjoyed red wine by a toasty log fire at Ann-Marie's house, gone to the cinema with Alison and cycled along in the dark gazing at the crystal clear sky and the beautiful stars before the grizzly rain started falling. I have played on line scrabble and msn messaged my friend who is very poorly with laryngitis and a stinking cold and can't talk (I didn't think it was possible to meet someone who actually talked more than I do!)
Life isn't what I planned, it isn't what I thought I signed up for in my mind - you know living apart from my children some of the time. I miss them with all my heart when they are not here but it gives me a different experience. There is something lovely waiting for those little feet to appear again to fill those dancing, sparkly shoes and scatter the contents of the dressing up box across the sitting room and disappear in to a different world ...
That's a good thing about life - it isn't pre-planned and every day is or at least can be different to what you might ever have imagined - take time to enjoy it.
Posted by: greedy nan | February 21, 2010 at 04:15 PM
Lovely to hear how you are getting on :) and I would really love shoes like that for myself ! Lesley x
Posted by: Lesley | February 21, 2010 at 09:41 PM
It really does take some getting used to the children being away some of the time. I shared custody of my 2 eldest boys with my ex, and it wasn't always easy. We were talking about those days (pre me having another 2 babies!!) at the weekend, we walked past a pub where we ate most weekends, we talked about the sleep..oh the sleep..the bed with no children in...
I am so pleased you are enjoying your new social life, you sound so happy xxx
Posted by: claire | February 22, 2010 at 10:19 AM
Its a good job we dont know whats around the corner - glad you are picking up the pieces and making life great for yourself once more. xxx
Posted by: Diane | February 22, 2010 at 01:36 PM
I have a 2 year old and I am already thinking about when he moves away. It's going to be a very sad day!
Posted by: ecigs | February 22, 2010 at 08:03 PM
You seem to be travelling a road I went along some years ago. It's so good to be able to create a personal separate existance to live during the childless times. Just to spend that time pining would be fruitless, being busy makes you a happy person for them to come home to. Good luck with this new life...Penny x (Planet Penny)
Posted by: penny | February 24, 2010 at 05:25 PM